Monday, July 2, 2007

The E! True Hollywood Story of Princess Allura, second pilot of Voltron's blue lion.

A friend of mine had pondered what had happened to Princess Allura after Voltron had stopped producing new episodes. I was able to provide him with the following information. Enjoy.
Princess Allura's career and life took a tragic turn. I don't know if you ever watch E! True Hollywood Stories, but they produced one about the cast of Voltron. After defending the universe from Prince Lotor's evil creations for many years, she was overcome with a case of space pnemounia in 1991. She battled for nearly six months, but the infection took hold and she died on September 17th, 1991.
Following her death, Keith became so distraught he went on a quest to find himself. This led to Sven, the original pilot of the blue lion to come back to planet Arus and take over as captain of the black lion. The blue lion remained unoccupied for nearly two years as Keith continued to try and "find himself." This made for many awkward battles, since Voltron now only had one leg and was unable to properly unsheath its blazing sword. In instances when the Voltron Force attempted to form its blazing sword, Voltron would lose its balance and crash into the monsters it was battling, which was productive since it instantly killed them. However, Pidge, pilot of the green lion, would often times receive the brunt of crashing into the monsters and as a result had many concussions. Consequently, Pidge now suffers from the neurological disorder known as epilepsy. In fact, the planet of Arus and Pidge's neurologist had revoked his lion pilot's license for six months. This led to six months of even more awkward battles as Voltron had, at the time, only one leg and one arm. Therefore, instead of using the blazing sword during battles due to looking silly and Pidge's mental illnesses Voltron relied on one-legged, and for a time one-legged and one-armed, interpretive dance to confuse its opponents into submission.
In April of 1994 Keith returned to the Voltron Force along with his supposed successor for the blue lion, Kurt Cobain, whom had not actually committed suicide on Earth, but instead had built a cyborg replica of himself. It wasn't until later that Kurt found out that the cyborg had taken its own life, because it also could not deal with Courtney Love. Keith was suprised to find that Sven had returned to the Voltron Force and had assumed his role as captain. This led to the two of them battling in a grueling best of seven game of Tron for leadership of the group. Sven won this battle four games to two. With the blue lion still vacated, and Hunk, pilot of the yellow lion, tired of literally "carrying the team", Keith and Kurt had a best of one heroin shoot off to determine who would become the new pilot of the blue lion. Unfortunately, for fans of grunge music everywhere Keith lost the battle and overdosed, thus Kurt Cobain becoming the new and current pilot of the blue lion and giving up all of his musical aspirations.
So there you have it.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Did Kurt also eat the mice?

Anonymous said...

The Red pill sounds like what Robert is shooting up with.