McRevolution Part Two

A couple days ago I posted something that I wrote a while ago about everybody's favorite crap-food joint. I confess, I occasionally indulge on this sludge. Every time I do so, I feel very guilty and angry afterwards. The anger comes from my time working at McDonalds, which produced many memories and emotions. During high school, in order to have some spending money, a majority of which went to my car - a 1978 Buick Regal with a functional, factory installed 8-track player, I worked at McDs.
As stated before, I have many memories of the place. Many fond, many strange, and many hilarious. One such hilarious incident occurred when I had decided, as a seventeen year old shift manager, that it would be a good idea to attempt to unionize our restaurant. I created pamphlets and left them in the break room. However, I was struck down by the general manager, who scolded me, stating that unionization of a McDonalds was a bad idea for a shift manager to attempt and that it was nearly impossible anyhow. Surprisingly, I was not fired or even written up for the incident - mostly because I defended my case by stating that it was a parody and nobody had took it seriously. It was then that I discovered that many of the elderly ladies who worked the morning shift at the restaurant had found the material I left the previous night and thought that terrorists, or the equivalent of terrorists, since the word had a very different connotation at the time, had placed these brochures for the viewing of the McDs crew. Good times.
This weekend, I recreated the logo that I used for the pamphlet in Adobe Illustrator. Maybe the reference to Soviet Russia was too much? The U.S.S.R. had dissolved at the time, maybe it was still too close to the fall of Eastern European Communism? Who knows?

McRevolution Part One

This was originally posted December 9th, 2006. Part Two, completely new, will be posted tomorrow.
What the hell?
Fast food in general is a totally awful concept to begin with, but I was astonished to recall by watching these following commercials from the 1970s at how easily persuaded we and the pseudo-public sector are by capitalistic empires such as McDonald's.
Please watch the following clips before continuing with this blog:
McDonaldsLand TV AD from 1970s.
1970s McDonald's Commercial (Sadly this link is dead)
Mayor McCheese is the Law
Yes, ladies and gentleman that WAS a young Jodie Foster in the second commercial with the line "No Coke."
Now, by watching a few commercials like that in the waning days of the year 2006 my reactions are as follows:
Number One: Roll over and laugh my guts out
Number Two: Pee myself, because I'm still laughing that hard.
Number Three: Become highly skeptical about what I had just viewed, because the laughing fit is starting to subside.
Number Four: Cynically blog about it.
Back in my formative years, following a barrage of colorful and happy commercials such as those I would have probably wanted to go to McDonaldLand so I could enjoy a Triple Thick Milkshake or a hamburger that is harvested off of some strange bush.
Now folks, bear with me here, this is where the cynicism begins.
Upon watching these commercials I recalled that my publicly funded elementary school had invited Ronald McDonald and a few of his friends to our gymnasium to stage a peculiar public service announcement about the importance of a balanced diet and the necessity of the four basic food groups. At the time I was in either kindergarten or first grade, can you imagine what this would be like for a five or six year old kid? I had no idea at the time that I was being blindsided by the horrible one-two punch of hypocrisy. I had no fucking clue what was coming out of Ronald's mouth, nor did I care. I was just an ignorant kid that now had a hankering for some goddamned french fries and you can probably guess that my mom was going to take me to McDonald's that day to satisfy my itch, because I had a fucking living, breathing commercial come to a safe place, my publicly funded elementary school, and confuse the hell out of me about proper nutrition.
Another thought that crossed my mind was that my dentist, not publicly funded, but still an authority figure who children should have a trusting relationship with, had always handed out coupons for free McDonald's cheeseburgers after I had my teeth cleaned when I was younger. What the fuck? What kind of scam is this? That fucking dentist knew that I would beg my mom for a triple thick milkshake or that Coca-Cola fix that all the kids, including a young Jodie Foster had wanted! Fuck him! Next thing you know, in a few months I arrive at Cavity City!
What a scam!
Folks, that is where the cynicsm ended and here on out, I introduce to you the awful fifth reaction that I seemed to have left out before:
RAGE!
No wonder we have an obesity epidemic in this country! We, as a nation, were tricked into believing proper eating habits included a fucking four piece Chicken McNugget, small french fry, orange drink, and the newest transforming food toy that was made by malnurioushed child laborers in a foriegn country!
Fuck you Independent Minnesota School District Number Sixteen circa 1984-1985.
Fuck you dentist, whose name escapes me, but I still hate you anyway!
Lastly, fuck you McDonalds! You make it look all so great, but we just keep getting fatter and sicker and you reap the profits.
I am not lovin' it McDonald's.
Not at all.

Zombie Christ!?

Here is a sketch I did during Easter of 2006. I even wrote something about it around the same time. So, here ya go!
Sunday, April 16, 2006:
Am I going to hell? That is if hell exists. I was driving home from work today, yes on Easter Sunday, and I began thinking about reasons for this holiday, more specifically the option that is celebrated most. No, not throwing an embryo that is surrounded by a nutrient material that serves as a protective covering for many animals into boiling water and then defacing them with various dyes and adonrments, silly! No, I'm not speaking of rotting away our enamel and forming a pitted area in our teeth by ingesting water-soluble crystalline carbohydrates that have a characteristically sweet taste, goofball! I'm talking about the resurrection of that Jesus fella!
After considering the meanings for this holiday, for some reason or another, I began thinking about zombies. Next, I deduced that if Jesus hadn't "ascended into heaven and was seated at the right hand of the Father" he would have become one of the undead!
I repeated this discovery to my own father, who is Catholic and whom I have been in arguments with over less ridiculous religious repartee, and to my surprise he chuckled! We then had a full-scale discussion, as opposed to a partially-scaled discussion, over whether zombies should be allowed to become citizens of the United States and whether or not they should have the right-to-work and reap benefits from federal and state governments.
Now my questions to the thoughtful public.
1. In your opinion, am I going to hell?
2. What are the rights of the undead?
3. Moreover, would these rights be different had Jesus been a zombie as well?